He buys you flowers and texts you “Goodnight,” with a kiss emoji to add some extra impetus. He wants to kiss you; he wants you to himself. He calls you during the day and ensures you get your ice cream fix after the 5 a.m. cry session. He isn’t afraid to spam you with ‘I love yous,’ he tells you he’s yours.
But why is it that under the sunshine, the arch of rainbows, you have been craving something else… something darker under a moonlit bridge. Why is it that between those calls during work, you have been eyeing a leather jacket, scruffy stubble, and a façade saying, “I really don’t care.”
The risk is high, but so is the fog in your head wanting a quick talk in the printer room with the person donning the leather jacket. Not in a position to make up your mind? But that’s only until your phone buzzes…
“Hey, lunch? Xoxoxo.” Your eyes roll, but not for the reason you desire. There is something sinister but still attractive.
Amongst the whys, as the fog in your head settles down, a question sparks curiosity.
Why do women chase after bad boys?
On the offensive
To really understand ‘why’ bad boys, it’s only fair to think, why not good boys? Of course, they deserve a shot…
Good guys do everything to ensure you are content and taken care of, while the bad ones appear bleak and insensitive. Though, the reality of human biochemistry is that it always craves the next best thing. Perhaps the pursuit of getting something that you wouldn’t get quickly fuels the excitement. Good guys often take a non-offensive approach to women so they wouldn’t appear overwhelming, flirtatious, or creepy. More often than not, bad boys don’t care since they are very attuned to what they desire. Their ambitions are strong, even if it comes across as cocky. This is one of the things ladies find most appealing.
Bad boy, good girl
Bad boys have an aura that radiates rebellion. It takes the edge off for women to be “good” around them. It allows them to be more accessible, emotionally and physically. There is less margin for error when the person is flawed and isn’t afraid to show it.
Ph.D. sexologist Sarah Melancon states, “We’re attracted to qualities in others that we wish we had.” Girls often find freedom in bad boys not willing to budge for anyone. Ally Snow encapsulates the affinity of women to pursue guys with “bad boy” energy, making you question your moral compass in exchange for a high-risk situation.
Does science matter?
We’re humans, after all… or more so, homo sapiens. Subconsciously, everything that we do is fed by biological urges. The female sexuality demands a formidable companion whose genes are apt enough for their offspring to inherit, which is why women often urge to engage in sex during their most fertile periods with individuals rich in their masculinity.
Bad boys emit the alpha attitude, which also makes women feel protected from threats in a world seemingly out to get them. Women will feel more secure with tough guys than those who buy them stuffed toys.
High risk, high reward
The “heroic” aesthetic has been romanticized and popularized by society. Dawning the cape, the heroes have all flown into the mainstream. Villains have become more appealing. Ones with an edge to them, signified by the tattoos sneaking out from under their shirt that gets torn from beating the guy messing with you. All these factors summed up can answer the question of why you let the phone vibrate as a good boy, a nice guy calls you to ask you about your day. But you opt instead to sneak glimpses of Mr. Leather Jacket with the tattoos, pouring himself a hot cup of coffee, flexing his muscles just enough to make the outline of the black leather stretch and overwork.
The risk is high, but oh, the reward, maybe the sweetest.
Sexy, educational, and therapeutic, Ally Snow outlines the female psychology of sex and the intimacies of relationships in her new book; this is not a book about sex.
Ladies, you can stop biting your lip now.
Click on the link to buy her book; This Is Not a Book About Sex.
