Well, what other word would best fit when we are trying to, PERSUADE a woman, whether she is beautiful or not, to go out with us??? Men quite often wonder what women like in men when it comes to clothes, colognes, their home décor and holding an interesting conversation with them. Many men will spend thousands of dollars for a car, clothes and a better-looking home or apartment (“Persuaders”), just to be more successful with women. Right? Have you spent that much already? You are going to think some of these Persuaders that you are about to read are pretty ridiculous, like the first two listed, but allow me to sound like a broken record here…
…it’s what, SMART women think, not what YOU think!
We have touched on some of these earlier, now let’s go more into detail. This subject is broken into two sections. The first is on inner beauty, and the second section will be on the physical part. When you combine them both, WITHOUT TAKING THEM FOR GRANTED, then your chances with women have dramatically increased, whether you are good looking or not. All of these combined will give a man that magnetism, or at the very least, that borderline magnetism.
1. Men Who Are Great Dancers Are More Appealing To Women
Next to having a great personality and a sense of humor, being a great dancer is the next best thing to being appealing to women. A man who likes to dance is more appealing because not that many men know how to dance and / or take their dates out for dancing. This increases your appeal. And I’m not talking about jumping all over the place like you got ants in your pants either. Anybody can dance like that. A close, more intimate dance, where you are holding her hands and she is almost up against you is what is appealing to her. But, on that first date, don’t hold her that close because it’s obviously too personal, unless, of course, she wants you too.
The two best dances to learn are the Tango and Salsa. Your goal is to get her imagination going in a romantic, seductive way. If you have ever seen these dances, you know what I mean. What if she doesn’t know how to dance? … Then it will be a new opportunity to get her more interested in you, because there are a lot of women who would love to be shown how. Women have actually said that a man who can dance with her like this makes him more appealing. Buy Tango and Salsa music, and then the next woman you approach, suggest having dinner at the park (Ask her what her favorite food and wine is, and then have it ready for her.), and then tango dancing afterwards. Do this about one hour before the sun sets, for an obvious reason.
Another thing you can do is to cook her favorite meal at your home, and then afterwards play the music and dance with her in your living room. You would be very surprised by what may come from it. Men do not do this, so this will definitely make you more different. Do you want to be more appealing and different from all the other men? … LEARN HOW TO DANCE THE TANGO AND SALSA! Take classes or go to your bookstore, or online right now and buy books on these two dances… AND THEN STUDY THEM!
Don’t Underestimate This Technique, Because Women Do Think Differently About A Man Who Is A Great Dancer! This Is Also A Sure-Fire Way Of Getting More Dates With Pretty Women.
2. Singing… Another Great Way to Be More Appealing
Just like learning how to be a good dancer, you won’t find this kind of advice from your average how-to-pick-up women books. Yet when a man sings a slow, moving song, that man can become appealing to women. That is, if he doesn’t have a voice that can get under the skin. If you have an okay voice, that will be enough for her. This sounds incredibly stupid, but don’t underestimate this. You may very well be an attraction for women if you do know how to sing. You don’t want to break out in a song on that first date. That will be a bit too weird for her. Just like dancing, your goal is to get her imagination going in a romantic, seductive way.
One of the ways you can nonchalantly let her hear your singing is when she is in your home and you have a slow-moving song playing on the stereo. While you are doing something in the kitchen or in another room, while she is sitting there in the living room listening to the song, start singing along with the song. Or it could be in your car while the two of you are driving to your destination. Quietly sing the song in the car. So quite that she can barely hear the words. She just might ask you to sing it louder, that is, if you have a halfway decent singing voice. The point of doing it like this is to make it look like that you aren’t really singing for her benefit, even though you are. You are just singing along with the song. That way you don’t feel uncomfortable, and neither does she. It’s no big deal, you are just singing along with the song. You are not giving the impression that you are singing for her. That can be really uncomfortable for her, especially if she isn’t that interested in you… yet.
Also, you don’t want to play any romantic songs until she knows you better. It’s just like going to see a romantic movie on a first date. It might be too uncomfortable for her. You don’t want to set the wrong impression. Remember, many women like to take things slow, and she may not know yet if she is interested in you or not. It’s up to you to get her interested, and singing is just one of the ways.
It doesn’t matter if you aren’t that great of a singer because it’s all about the words and the feeling from the song. Julio Iglesias is, or was one of the number one singers for females because his songs are slow paced and romantic. Andrea Bocelli is a tenor singer, and he is labeled a sex symbol. It isn’t because of his looks, since he is average looking, it’s because of his voice and the type of songs he sings. That’s why he is so appealing to women. Take examples from other singers, like R&B artists Nat King Cole and Al Green. Buy these men’s CD’s and you will know what type of music to sing that swoos women. Just like dancing, don’t ever, ever underestimate singing when it comes to being more appealing to women. It works, even if you don’t have that great of a singing voice. And if you don’t have it, consider taking singing lessons. You may think this is stupid advice, but you don’t realize the power a man singing has over some women. Buy a book on how to sing better.
3. The Right Attitude Makes You More Appealing To a Lot Of Women
Your attitude, personality and approach mean all the difference between success or failure with women, whether she’s beautiful or just plain. If it’s attractive women you want, this is very important. First, your attitude has to show that you are confident and sure of yourself when asking her out. If you go up to her and ask in a manner where you have this stupid, unsure look on your face that shows you’re not that interested, and / or you can’t seem to find the right words, “Uhhh,” “Umm,” do you think you stand much of a chance with her? She wants you to just be yourself when you approach and talk to her. So just be who you are. Be natural. That’s all she wants.
Not only can an unsure attitude hurt your chances but so can a macho, God’s-gift-to- women attitude also. Yeah, I know, if this guy is tall, dark and handsome, what does it matter? But what if you aren’t and you have to compete with those Bozos? Acting like some stud pulling into town for some fresh meat doesn’t help any at all. That just works for the good-looking men. The women are stuck on his looks when they first meet, but it’s only after sometime has passed with him that they get tired of his attitude. Well, the smart women anyway. We’ve all seen this. If you are not that great looking, you will need more than what those other handsome men have. You have to be totally different by just being yourself, humorous, or just witty and having an interesting, flowing conversation with women. There are more women out there than you may think who are attracted to men like that. It may not seem like that, but it’s true. You have to keep your eyes open for them
4. Being needy and Getting Too Close, Too Soon Is Not What They Want
Now at the same time you don’t want to appear needy and get too close, too soon. That is not what they like in a man. Too many men get too close, too soon when they are at clubs or single’s bars. He gets a little too friendly after talking and dancing with her. Even after only a couple of hours. This is the main reason why many women act defensive and not as friendly as we would want them to be. The men who get too personal with women ruin it for the rest of the guys there. If she’s interested, IF that is, take it slow with her. She wants to get to know you first. In other words… ACT LIKE A GENTLEMAN AROUND HER! This will get you further with her than anything else. Especially on those first dates!
5. Just a Common Simple Approach Is All She Wants
All a woman wants is a common, simple approach. Just come up to me and say “hi.” If you want to go out with her, ask her! It’s just that simple. Introduce yourself while giving a warm smile. It’s that simple, and that’s all women want! It’s nothing but common sense, but it just doesn’t click with us at the time when we want to meet the one who catches our eye. We just gaze and wish, and that’s it. Some of you talk yourself out of approaching her. She’s too pretty. She’s with her friends. I don’t feel like meeting anybody tonight. Even though you do!
6. A Sense of Humor Is Very Appealing To Her
Even if she isn’t interested in you in the beginning, she may very well look at you differently if you are able to make her laugh throughout the conversation. Many men have started up an innocent conversation with her while at a bar, nightclub, or with a coworker, and he was able to get her to look at him differently because he made her laugh. Just don’t overdo it. Always being on is just irritating after a while. Besides, it shows you are trying too hard. That’s not attractive to women… don’t try to be humorous with her if you don’t have a funny bone in your body. Some of us just don’t have it in us to be like that. A person who isn’t funny but tries to be just makes it worse. If you make jokes and all you get from her is just a slight, put-on smile and a look of get away from me, give it up. You may think that you don’t care if you make a fool out of yourself, as long as the date with her is fun. Well if a guy isn’t funny and he tries to be by using chop sticks during the dinner date to look like a Unicorn and make stupid sounds, well that will turn a good many women off. You should care if you make a total fool out of yourself! People who aren’t funny but try to be just make fools out of themselves. It’s better to just be yourself.
People who don’t have a sense of humor can still be witty though. Having a sense of humor and being witty are two different things. If you are witty, by all means use it to your fullest advantage. A witty man can be just as appealing. That is if you can get a favorable reaction from her. Keep in mind that she may not even have a sense of humor. So you’ll just be wasting your time anyway. If you are a serious person, look for the same in a woman, even though most women find a funny man more appealing.
7. A Great Personality Makes A Man More Appealing To Women
Next to having a great sense of humor is having a great personality. One of the most important things women desires in a guy is a personality. One who is upbeat, humorous and has enthusiasm and energy. Not dull and boring. She will notice it when she talks with you. Smile, have some energy and show her that you really want to be there with her. A man who smiles and has enthusiasm goes a long way with women. Even if you have plain looks and you want to date attractive women. Always smile! Be down to earth and natural. Act like she is just an old friend to whom you are talking with.
Have you ever been around someone who was always smiling, has a personality, energy and enthusiasm? Have you ever felt more alive when you were around that person? You feel like this when you are with your friends don’t you? One of the main things that women talk about are these qualities. It makes her feel more alive and want to be with him. Having a personality like that makes a big difference to them. Of course you don’t want to overdo it and act like you’re on something. There’s a limit to your energy and enthusiasm you know.
8. Attract More Women… With Kids
Most women are naturally attracted to single, unattached men who have children of their own, or who love children. Knowing this little fact will open up yet another door of opportunity to meet more women out there. How? I think some of you already know what I’m talking about. Whenever you go out, whether it’s to the mall, the grocery store or to the movies, have a child with you.
For most women (some just can’t stand children) it’s instinctive for them to love children. And if a man loves children also, and he has a baby or young child with him, he might be appealing to her. I don’t know how many times I have seen women’s faces turn to a look of awww when they see a cute, adorable youngster. You’ve seen it to. It’s only natural for most women to have feelings that only a mother could have when they see a child. Most women want to have a baby of their own, and when they see a man with one, their feelings of having a husband grows strong at that moment. So naturally, in some cases, they would be interested in him. After all, a man with a child can be quite appealing to a lot of women. It’s their instinct to find a good provider and a father when looking for a mate, even if it’s just a boyfriend, and they don’t want to get married yet. So you can use that to your advantage.
On the other hand though, that’s not always the case. If you don’t have a cute kid to by your side, you are not going to get the typical responses that you would normally get from women. Instead of a: Awww, what a cute baby. You’re going to get: Geeez, what an ugly little thing. I hope my baby doesn’t look like that when I have one. Of course they will be keeping that little thought to themselves. Who knows, some women think ALL babies are adorable. The age of the baby can range from just a few weeks on up to three years. Three-year-olds should be the limit, since of course they are the cutest. There just seems to be something about a little three-year-old who is so appealing to women. After that age though, that feeling seems to fizzle out. Three years and younger are the baby stages, the kind women adore. Do you have a child from a previous marriage? How about a niece or a nephew? Do you have a friend who has a cute little girl or boy who you could borrow when you go to the mall? Offer to do a lot of baby-sitting. It has BIG advantages. Take the kid off of your friend’s hands so they can go see a movie.
There’s more to just walking around the grocery store or the mall with your newfound child, waiting for the women to approach you. You have to do more to entice them over. That child has to LOOK adorable. A child’s clothes, hair and just their overall appearance have to make those women think: What a cute child. Here are a few tips to do just that:
1. If you are baby-sitting a girl, you want to put her in a very pretty dress, with a pretty bow in her hair. Dress her the way a woman would dress her. The baby’s face is just a fraction of what brings the women closer. The clothes and the overall appearance of that child is what really attract them. With a boy, you want to put the best, cutest-looking clothes on him. Dress that kid to the point where any woman who sees him would want him for her very own. Style his hair with mousse, making him even more adorable.
2. Make sure your child is not in a pouty or bad mood before you go out. It will only ruin what you are trying to accomplish. Put him / her in a good, happy mood by going out for ice cream. Better yet, buy the little brat…I mean, the little darling a toy. Bribery works every time.
3. Make sure the child has a security blanket, stuffed animal or doll. Things like these will add charm and sweetness.
Think of other ways you could use to make that child even more adorable and noticeable. Now how about your appearance? Do you look attractive to her? Wear your best clothes, be clean-shaven and don’t have bad breath. From having clean and attractive shoes, to being pleasant, you don’t want to miss a thing. You want her to feel comfortable and impressed with you right away. You want her to stay there with you, not just say hello to the baby and then walk off. Being well dressed, witty (not stupid) and a gentleman will go a long way with many (NOT ALL) women.
Now how about your attitude? Don’t come across as being desperate or with a horny look on your face. You want to be natural and friendly. A woman is coming over to say hello to your child. So what! Come across with that attitude. Let her see it. NEVER look below her neck! Start a casual, easy-going conversation with her. If you don’t know what to say, figure out a good conversation piece to get the ball rolling, and keep it rolling before you get to your destination.
Now how can you ask her out for a date after only a few minutes of conversation? It’s easy…JUST ASK! You think maybe it’s way too fast, or maybe too forward? Well if you did everything just right and she didn’t leave in less than three minutes, it’s a good chance that she’s interested in you. DUMMY! You have her interest. What if she says no anyway? So what! There are other women out there. At least you tried. Here’s a good rule of thumb to go by, whether you use this technique or not, this rule of thumb will help your uneasy feeling of asking her out: If she doesn’t leave before three minutes, and GENUINELY listens to you without looking around, it’s a good chance she’s interested. In most cases this works. Sometime it won’t, because she could just be friendly. Women are like that…remember? Use the lines on how to approach a complete stranger from chapter three.
9. A Warm, Passionate Kiss Speaks Louder Than Words
(Because this is such a powerful technique when trying to be successful with women, there will be more on this later in this chapter, under the section: So How Do You Start In Asking Her If She Would Like To Be More Than Just Friends, Without Jeopardizing The Friendship. Combine the two sections by highlighting them, and then placing a paper clip on the pages for quicker, future reference. This is one of the most important things to remember in this book.)
Many times men who are not that good looking can instantly change a woman’s opinion about him by just giving her that right kiss. For a woman, touching lips with another man is very erotic for her. If he happens to be a great kisser (gentle and soft), even a plain-looking guy could be more appealing to the woman he is interested in. She can instantly change her mind when being kissed by him. That’s the way many women are. She looks at him differently if he is a good kisser. You’d be surprised from the effects a simple kiss and holding her tightly in your arms can really do to her.
The reason a kiss can be such a powerful persuasion tool for you is because in the part of our brain that governs the feel of a touch, there are more neurons that are dedicated to the lips than any other part of our body. This is a fact. Look it up in a biology book. When a man kisses a woman, a combination of hormones are released in her body. The main hormone is the “oxytocin,” which is the main touch hormone for her. For some women, it can spike their blood system so high that they can actually come to orgasm from just prolonged kissing. The more they are touched, the more oxytocin is released, and then the more they want to be touched. And from that, the more they want to bond with that person to whom they are kissing. It’s sort of like a chemical drink when all her hormones are released when she is being kissed on a prolonged basis. Many women (not all) can actually get a high from it. It can also impair their thinking and judgment. This may be the reason why some women choose the wrong men.
For more reading on this subject, read ANATOMY OF LOVE, by Helen Fisher and THE ALCHEMY OF LOVE AND LUST, by Theresa Crenshaw. These books can explain what happens inside a woman’s body when a man is kissing her, or even when he is near her and she can smell him. His smell can also release these hormones. This has been scientifically proven. Your goal is to get her to release these chemicals, so read these books for a better understanding of this process. Then, in turn, your success with them will be that much better. The knowledge of a woman, inside and out, is everything. After all, if these chemicals aren’t released inside her, the chances are greater that nothing is going to happen between the two of you.
Have you ever met or worked with a woman who is not that pretty but after you get to know her you then become attracted to her because she acts provocative and at the same time she has a nice personality? She’s a nice girl, but she has sort of a sexy, provocative personality. Well it’s the same way with many (not all) women when a man is a good kisser.
We don’t give much thought to a person who isn’t that attractive or is just plain looking until they do something that sets off our hormones and other emotions. We change our opinion of that person. And it’s much quicker with women.
A man who is a great kisser and follows through by being romantic and showing her a fun, good time will always be a success with women. Even for the guy who just wants to sleep with as many women as he possibly can, he takes this one little thing for granted. He buys as much mail-order information as he can in the hopes of finding that right technique to use that will enable him to have sex with many, many women, when this is just part of what he needs to know. Just a simple, passionate kiss and holding her firmly in his arms can quite often work wonders.
Men take kissing too much for granted. They don’t realize that all it may take to turn a so date around is a simple kiss. Maybe there’s a woman you work with who you would love to go out with, but because she is attractive and you’re not, you may feel she isn’t interested in you that way. It all depends how much she likes you. If she thinks you’re funny and she likes your personality, giving her a good, warm, passionate kiss may just do the trick. But, on the other hand though, it can very well backfire on you, which you are probably thinking about right now. That’s why you make sure she likes you first. Let her get to know you first, at the same time not always looking at her like she is a piece of meat either. Even if she still isn’t interested in you, she will still think of that nice kiss. Just brush it off and don’t make it a big deal. Let her see that in you. Here is a good line to use for a coworker, or especially “a friend”:
Annie, I have been thinking something about you for the longest time. I would like to know what it would be like to kiss you. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It won’t go anywhere. I’m overly curious on what it would be like to kiss you. Just one simple kiss, that’s all.
If she says yes, you want to grab her hand gently, pulling her to you, and then hold her firmly in your arms, while giving her the best kiss you can ever give a woman. Doing it just like this is part of being a good kisser. And don’t let it stop at just one kiss. Don’t move your face from hers after that one kiss, because you will want to push for another one. Say this after kissing her the first time: I lied. Can I have another one? Don’t wait for the answer, and kiss her again. But, don’t push too far if she is TOO hesitant. Make sure you are wearing one of the colognes you read about earlier. This is very important. Also, make damn sure your breath is COMPLETELY clean!!
So why not just ask her out? Because she just may say no. And it could be one of those cases where she does in fact only date men who are in her league, and / or she views you as just a friend. Maybe you can only change her mind by being aggressive this way, and then asking if she would like to go out. Would you like to go out, just to see what happens? Ask her this while you still have her in your arms. If it’s possible, that is. Make sure to recommend something totally different and fun to do on the date, to perk her interest even more.
10. Be More Appealing To Women…Just By Talking With Them
(Just like #9; A Warm Passionate Kiss Speaks Louder Than Words, this too is one of the most important things in this book. It’s so important that there is more in chapter three, under the section: Now What The Hell Can You Possibly Talk About After Introducing Yourself? Combine these two sections for future reference also. Memorize number’s 9 and 10 and the other related sections! And…don’t take them for granted!!)
Believe it or not, one of the things women find appealing in a man is how he talks with her. If a man can hold an intelligent, interesting, somewhat humorous conversation, for many women he becomes appealing. Women of all ages and creed have repeated this over and over and over again, so it’s a top priority that you should hold such a conversation with her. You know how women like to talk anyway.
Whether it’s a first date or trying to start a conversation with a woman who makes your heart pound, one of the things that could go wrong and usually does for one too many men (which can be quite frustrating) is a lack of conversation. You try to think of things to say but the only thing that seems to come to mind are the typical things: The weather, what you do for a living, what you two like in things…. After that though.… What can I talk about now?!
There are people who can talk and talk and talk, while there are others who couldn’t hold a conversation to save their life. If you are having problems holding a good, interesting conversation with women while on a date, or at any other time, think of some subjects to talk about before you meet her. And not on just the things that interest you. Of course you don’t want to talk about things that would never interest a woman. For example: cars, sports, hunting, fishing and fixing things. You know, men stuff. Although there are women who have those same interests. Talk about the last movie you’ve seen, your hobbies, goals, family, school days… Once you get your mind going, then you can think of many things to talk about. Let you’re brain warm up. Don’t wait until you are already on a date with her, or she sits down next to you at the nightclub and you are suddenly at a loss for words. You want to keep the conversation flowing and interesting. If you met her through the personals, you will already know quite a bit about her and can pick out the things from her letter and phone conversations to talk more about.
People love to talk about what interest them. Isn’t that so? Talk about what they like in life and let them do the talking. Dale Carnegie, in his book, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE strongly stressed that point. He has always said: Become genuinely interested in other people. / Be a good listener.Encourage others to talk about themselves. So, encourage her to talk about herself, and then just sit there and listen. To be interesting is to be interested in them. You could just sit there, not talking that much, and they will still see you as good company. Read his book, practice what he says and you will notice a big difference in your dating lifestyle, and also in your life. Having a good conversation that interest the both of you plays a big part in having a successful date, or just striking up a conversation with women in general. But, at the same time, if you overdo it, where you don’t say much of anything and she carries on most of the conversation, it will take an opposite effect. No one likes a one-sided conversation.
And what if she is shy? Well then that will be a tough one. It’s hard to listen to someone if they aren’t talking much. To jump-start her mouth, talk about yourself and carry on most of the conversation, being careful not to let it slide into dull. At the same time make her feel more comfortable around you. A lot of people actually have a fear of talking, or they just aren’t much of a talker. Small talk is all you’ll hear from them. Get her to laugh, and hopefully she will open up to you. At times it’s hard to tell if she likes you or not.
Just like anything else with most women, when it comes to a conversation, just the littlest of things matter the most. Being witty / humorous, talking about what she wants out of life can make you more appealing to her. If she can relate to what you’re saying, you then become more interesting, and she will want to get to know you better. Knowing the little things that matter to her can make a difference. Here are some examples:
– For starters, again, don’t look at her like she is a piece of meat. This was their major complaint with men. Never look below her neck. Don’t get too close, too soon. Wait for the second or third date to do that, if there is one. Talk to her as if she’s a friend. Also, don’t ever touch her. Too many books out there states that to arouse her you should brush her hair from her eyes, or brush your fingers across her cheek. This is a big complaint with women. She does NOT want you touching her until she knows you much better! Touching her in this manner does arouse her, but not if she doesn’t know you that well, or if she isn’t sure if she is attracted to you.
– Never interrupt what she is saying. Don’t contradict her or be indifferent or disagreeable. If you have a different opinion on the subject you are talking about, save it. Just let her do the talking and you sit there, looking very interested in what she is saying.
– Ask what she wants to do with her life and what her interests are…then listen! Not many men do this for her. A man who is interested in her and listens to what she is saying is, in part, what makes him more appealing.
– Give facial expressions that show you care about what she is talking about. Show her that you understand her and that you empathize with any problems she may have. Tilt your head a little as you focus your eyes on hers. This may sound ridiculous, but doing this little thing makes you look as if you are in tune with what she is saying. She has your complete attention. That is what she wants from a man. Don’t sit there with an unemotional look on your face.
– If you strike up a conversation with a woman who you met at the club, bar or wherever, don’t rush her into a date. Let her get to know you first. There are many women who will go with you right away, but there are just as many who won’t. Don’t appear as if you are desperate for a date. Always remember to invite her to an activity that not many men would suggest for a first date. Get her curious about you and the date.
– Don’t talk to any woman if you have had too much to drink. Even if you are just a little tipsy, she will notice it.
– Don’t come off as being a bragger. Don’t go on about your hot little sports car, or any other type of material things you may have. The right woman wants to know about you. The wrong one wants to know about what you have and what you do for a living. If you want to get married, or you want a serious girlfriend, what would your choice be? Good rule of thumb is: Tell a little about yourself, and be more interested in her and what she likes out of life.
– Don’t act like God’s gift to women. Most women want you to be a simple, down-to-earth man, with a good personality. Give her what she wants.
– Again, watch your hygiene. It doesn’t matter if you wore that shirt for only a couple of hours. Wear a FRESH shirt. Always have fresh breath. We never know about these things until it’s too late. We are always the last to know.
– A large part of being more appealing to women while talking to them is again, being humorous or witty. Many times you can write your own ticket if you can be interesting, hold an intelligent conversation, show your interest in what she is saying and you are able to make her laugh, all at the same time.
– Don’t ever turn the conversation, where she is talking about something, on to you. It’s so easy to do that you may do it and not even realize it. For example: If she talks about her stressful job and ass of a boss, don’t start talking about your job and the headaches you are having with your boss until she has finished.
– While you are talking to her, every once in a while look at her hair and lips. Look at her lips while she is talking. This can be seductive for some women, as long as you don’t overdo it. If she asks why you keep looking at her hair, just say: “I like the style of it. You look nice with that style,” and then leave it at that.
References:
