Even though divorce can be painful for the people involved, that doesn’t even begin to be comparable to the harm it can cause to their kids. We are saying this because at least the parents have time to mentally prepare for it after seeing it coming for a while. But, when we think of the kids, they might feel taken by surprise by the prospect of a divorce, even if they have witnessed how dissatisfied their parents are.

It is a fact that you can’t entirely protect your kids from the hurt of divorce, but, you can simplify their situation. Are you wondering how? Well, you can lead them through it to make it less intimidating. You can set an example for others by treating your partner with respect at all times and abstaining from criticizing them in front of them or in their presence. By doing this, you will be preparing kids to deal with difficult circumstances eventually in their lives.

Collaborative Divorce Vs. Traditional Divorce: Which Is Better For Children?

We can say that traditional divorce is not a good option especially if we look from the kids’ perspectives. This is mainly because kids can easily be neglected during a traditional judicial divorce because of the distress the parents experience. Unless a lawyer is hired to advocate for the children or a school counselor is appointed to perform an evaluation, the judge who gives the final judgment about a parental plan does not hear the opinions of the kids. Moreover, the courts also don’t take into consideration the ideas, beliefs, and objectives you have as parents.

But, if we talk about collaborative divorce, it is a much better idea because children play a significant role in collaborative divorce proceedings. And, the collaborative divorce agreement is heavily influenced by the children’s needs and wishes. Not just this, but in that process, your parenting principles and goals are also equally important.

Guiding Your Kids through a Collaborative Divorce: How to Do It?

The best part about collaborative divorce is that in that process the parties agree to avoid going to court, negotiate a settlement out of court, and create a cogent co-parenting strategy that prioritizes the kid’s mental wellbeing. So, we can say that the use of a qualified collaborative divorce lawyer is the biggest advantage in New Jersey. The team consists of experts in child psychology and mental health who offer knowledge on how to discuss divorce with kids.

While the child expert is a psychotherapist properly qualified to assist with kids during divorce, the mental health experts function as divorce counselors for the parties going through the divorce. But, as parents, you can guide your children and make it easier for them to digest the news of your divorce by following the given tips:

  • Before you tell your kids about the divorce, you should practice or rehearse the conversation together.
  • Both parents should announce their divorce together in front of the kids.
  • The parents should always keep in mind to not disrespect each other, especially in front of them.
  • Make sure that you avoid saying any such thing that might create a rift between the children and the parents.
  • Lastly, don’t forget to reassure your kids that both of you will try to be there for them in the future.

The Bottom Line

We can’t deny the fact that children cannot be ignored when a couple heads for divorce. Though it can be a little difficult to break the news to them, when done the right way, you can make your children take it in a better way.