When your relationship is on the verge of falling apart, you can usually tell. The vibe is off, negative, or tense, or you’ve been battling a lot without coming to a satisfactory conclusion. Don’t give up hope just yet if you’re facing the likelihood of a split. Just because you’re in hot water doesn’t mean you have to give up. There’s nearly always a way to mend a relationship if you care strongly about your spouse and are both dedicated to making it work. Here’s how to salvage your relationship if you and your partner both want to attempt to work things out and stay together if at all possible:

Make certain you don’t make any rash choices.

Many individuals leave their relationships when they hit a particularly tough patch—a terrible quarrel or transgression, a torturous and unacknowledged sex drought, a dysfunctional cycle that has repeated itself one too many times—and start looking for a way out. But, whether out of fear, frustration, or laziness, this is giving up too soon. Many couples can, in fact, work through their problems if they’re both ready to put out the effort. If you make love try using sex toys like Fleshlight in India to spice up your relationship.

Be brutally honest with themselves.

Don’t waste your time attempting to restore your relationship on your own—it won’t work. If your partner isn’t already interested, get them involved: Discuss your worries with them openly, and let them know you’re thinking about whether or not the relationship can work. Don’t threaten them with a split, but make sure they realise how important these concerns are to you.

Consult a therapist.

The value of bringing in an outside expert’s opinion, someone who is familiar with the usual traps that couples face and has expertise guiding them out of them.

Recognize how you’re contributing to the issue.

Be wary of the blaming trap. You can be unhappy about something your spouse has done, but make sure you’re also taking time to think about how you’ve contributed to the dynamic, bad energy, and conflicts between you.

If the issue is more about a difference in values or lifestyle than anything one of you is doing that hurts the other, you should both accept this difference—respectfully and without resentment—and examine if a compromise is possible or achievable.

Concentrate on self-healing.

This is distinct from just acknowledging your personal role in your relationship’s difficulties. This is about realising how much inner work you still have to accomplish.

If you ignore your feelings, judge yourself, turn to various addictions to numb your feelings, or blame your partner for your feelings of worth and safety, then you are rejecting.

Recognize and acknowledge your partner’s suffering.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in brooding on your relationship and your own tough feelings about it.

Spend some time reflecting on the good things in your life.

Remember to take a break from dwelling on the negative aspects of your relationship and spend some time reflecting on the positive aspects. What are some of your favourite recollections from your time together? What about your relationship makes you happy, inspires you, or astonishes you? Don’t spend all of your time talking about the serious issues.