Your physiology dictates your state. This is a very important point to realise when trying to get successful with women. If you adopt a negative posture, it will affect your state and your energy will be lower. That is why when you are speaking you should use gestures, not only to emphasize your point and to engage the listener better, but also raise your state and improve your body language. You must become an expert of body language and immediately notice when you are changing into a negative position, such as a slumped posture or folded arms. The same applies to your interactions with women. If you allow a woman to adopt a negative posture when you are speaking to her, even if she likes you, she will start to feel negative. So how do you change this?
The simple answer is to call her out on it. Imagine you are standing in a bar and you see an attractive woman. You go over and initiate a conversation but after perhaps 5 – 10 minutes she folds her arms. You notice it and k now if you leave her arms folded, her state will drop. You make a comment such as the following “I see you folded your arms straight away when I said that…Come on relax, we are in a bar to have fun” and throw a glance at her folded arms. In almost all cases, she will immediately unfold her arms and smile. Then a few minutes later when she starts to fold them again, you can point at her arms and say “Everytime you fold your arms you start to naturally feel lazy and negative so I’m going to change this habit for you” Say this with a smile and she will know you are joking with her, but also mean what you say.
If you can lead her posture like this then you are truly leading the interaction. Another example of changing her posture would be if you approach two women sitting at a bar, with their chairs pointing towards the bar. As you open conversation, they turn their heads towards you, so effectively they are talking over their shoulder. If you don’t get them to change their posture, you will lose them very quickly as they are in an uncomfortable position. The key here is to say something like the following “If you keep talking to me like that you are going to sprain your neck and it will be all my fault, why don’t you turn your chair around” They will do this and once again you are taking the lead in the interaction. If for some reason they do not do what you suggest, then continue the conversation as if nothing has happened. All it means is that they are not attracted enough yet to comply, but if you try again in a few minutes, after you have build a little more attraction, then chances are you will be successful.
