Christian dating should be seen as the first steps on the road to Christian marriage. This is how most Christians view dating. Of course, this does not mean planning the wedding from the first date, but it does mean coming out with the idea of Christian marriage in mind. Which is just a scary way of saying that when you go out as a Christian, you go on that date open to the idea that this person may be the one you fall in love with and marry. This is essentially what Christian dating is, it is dating with marriage in mind. If you are dating someone without being open to the possibility of falling in love, you are definitely on a date, but it is definitely not a Christian date! This brings us to the biggest Christian dating mistake.
Christian Dating Mistake # 1 Not dated with romance in mind
The biggest data error that many Christians make is that they are not Christians at all. This does not mean that you do not go to Christian places or perform Christian activities, or even that you do not go out with other Christians. It means you are making a mistake by believing that being a Christian and dating is equivalent to a Christian date. That’s not the case. The date itself must be within the framework of Christian ethical standards – how Christians treat other people. Your date should not be with you just because it’s nice to look at or nice to be seen. Your date should also not just be company on a lonely evening.
Many Christians make the mistake of asking someone out on a romantic date when all they really want is someone to date. This leads to obvious complications when one person sees the other as a potential friend while seeing them as a potential husband or wife. Christians make this mistake all the time because of the lack of sexual pressure in Christian dating. Knowing that sex is out of the question and with strict personal rules for kissing and other acts of intimacy, it’s easy to find yourself in ‘vein state’ instead of seeing your date as a potential wife. Now, of course, husband and wife are friends, I suggest in no way otherwise, but theirs is a special kind of friendship built on a foundation of romantic love.
Dating with marriage in mind means thinking of your date, right from the first date, as someone with whom one could build a loving and romantic friendship that results in marriage. That does not mean that you will find out the names of your future children five minutes after the first date! Christian dating should be romantic and marriage oriented from the start.
What is the difference between Christian dating and non-Christian dating? For most people, the answer lies in what you do on that date. It’s easy to answer. Christians do not want sex on the date and even choose not to kiss. Now ask yourself what is the difference between a Christian dating and two people going out as friends to eat or watch a show. The answer lies in how the couple looks. Friends see themselves as friends and treat each other accordingly. The dating partner should see each other as dating, not just friends. Imagine two friends, a man and a woman, going out to eat to catch up on old times, but during the meal, the man begins to see his friend as a date. Unless she starts seeing it as a date, the night will end annoying. Now imagine, a Christian couple on a date, but while she sees her date as a date, he sees her as a friend, tonight she will also end up upset.
To avoid the biggest dating mistake that Christians make, just make sure you are on a Christian date. Not an evening with a friend, but a date. When considering asking someone out, first ask yourself if you could see yourself in a romantic relationship with that person. Do not be one of those Christians who finds someone they like as a friend and asks them out on a date (knowing that there is no sexual pressure), with the idea that at some point in the future, things can get romantic. Christians know that romance does not mean sex, but that dating should mean romance right from the first date.
